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More Than Just a Game : Script Extract

A DRINKING, SINGING, RAPPING HORDE POUR ON – THEY ARE THE IBIZAN JACK PACK
ALLWe’re going to spoil your fucking holiday! We’re going to spoil your fucking holiday!
JACKRoad rage, trolley rage, stick us in the lions’ cage. !
JILLSteamed up, pissed up, all of us are under age. And we’re with you , coming with you, all of us are coming with you.
JACKFlying, prying, puking in your seat.
JILLSinging, swearing, nicking what you eat.
BOTHAnd we’re with you, coming with you, all of us are coming with you.
ALLWe’re going to spoil your fucking holiday!
THE BOYS COME ON KICKING A FOOTBALL. THEY STOP DEAD WHEN THEY SEE THE CHORUS
JBShit.
STATZThat is not a pretty sight.
LIAMSwansea fans.
JBPerhaps they’re going somewhere else.
STATZPerhaps they’re going to Brazil
LIAMWhy would they want to go there?
STATZPossibly because that’s where they’re holding the World Cup.
JBAnd since when did Cardiff start running flights to BRAZIL
STEFFWell I hope they’re coming to the same hotel as us then I can rip their heads off and float ‘em in the fucking swimming pool.
STATZYeh, good tactics Steff, we’re right behind you.
STEFFIn fact, we can start right here, come on you bastards, do you want a bit of this!
LIAMSteff! Let’s make sure we get on the plane, OK?
STEFFI’m not bothered. I’ll die happy here. Or they will.
JBWe should never have taken him to see Gladiator.
THE GIRLS ARRIVE – EXCEPT JADE
DAWNAw, boys, you’re not being bullied again are you.
STATZ It’s alright Dawn, Steff’s got it covered.
DAWNHe couldn’t cover his own arse with a bullet proof nappy. Oi, you big bunch of tarts, fancy some action, two weeks Saturday, three o’clock, Vic Park. There’ll be fifteen more like me, but twice as gorgeous. Bring as many as you like.
THE CHORUS SHRINK AWAY.
JBYou got a place for Steff in this team of yours?
NATHe’s not hard enough.
DAWNHe can come and give us a rub down if he likes.
STEFFI don’t give rub downs, I get ‘em.
ZOEYeh, and he’s got receipts to prove it.
STEFFYeh – oh very funny – never mind receipts anyway, how about this share out girls, I’m stony.
HELENJade’s sorting the kitty out.
JBJade!
LIAMJade’s coming?
JADE IS THERE
JADEYeh, Jade’s coming – if that’s alright.
STATZRight – think I need to go to the bogs.
JBYeh, good call.
NATAnd me.
STEFFJust one last word with those Swansea Jacks I think.
DAWNGood idea.

“This play gets right inside the heads of these young folk. Cutting, touching funny with a potent mix of ritual and naturalism and with sharp but expletive ridden dialogue, it mercurially switches moods as adrenaline surges and relationships build or crumble.”

 

Bill Stone
Script Extract

More Than Just a Game

A Fast Moving Comedy written & directed by Laurence Allan

MtjaG-KyleThere’s only one better footballer than Liam – his girlfriend jade. But he’ll sort that out when the whole gang go to Ibiza for sun, sex and soccer. Except Jade’s had enough of football altogether and changed to holiday destination to Taransay – a remote Scottish Island. No TV, no pub and no phone signal!

Ten rampant teenagers trapped on a deserted island with two crazy Buddhists.

Lord of the Flies meets Castaway.

The play  was first seen at Plymouth Theatre Royal for the Japan World Cup and was written for a group young England fanatics. This time round it was  updated and adapted  for a gang of Welsh Valley boys and girls who support A – B –E – anyone but England. But if you’re from Plymouth or  Porth when you’re trapped on a remote island, your allegiances  start to change.

Inspiration

In 2002 I wrote a play for Plymouth Theatre Royal to celebrate the Football World Cup with a thirty strong cast of rampant teenage England supporters. Twelve years later I brought it home to Wales. A little bit closer but still no Wales in The World Cup. So we did what we always do and supported A – B – E, anyone but England.

Production Data

How? Originally commissioned by Theatre Royal Plymouth for their 30 strong Young Company, to celebrate the 2002 Football World Cup. It was a play I always wanted to plant on home soil and was perfect as the inaugural production for The Chaingang, Chainworks intergenerational community group. 

 Cast: 14 teenagers – gender variable.

 When? Summer  2014

Where? The Factory, Porth, South Wales